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Sump Pump is Jammed (A Parody)

Sump Pump is Jammed (A Parody)

Sump pump is jammed

Call us up

While the water’s flowin’

Maybe it’s just dozin’

Check it out, the pipes are frozen

Sump the water from the floor

Platinum Plumbing and so much more

See, we’ll check it out for you

And we will solve the problem too

I don’t know

What else to say

Call us up on the phone today

Call us up

I don’t know

What else to say

Call us up on the phone today

Call us up

Yep. That just happened. If you were born after 1990, you may need to hit play at the top of the page. Otherwise, let’s talk about sump pumps.

Originally, I had written about the massive winter storm that was supposed to be coming through here. I haven’t really left the house, but it seems to have missed Bloomington-Normal. The tip was going to be that after we get a bunch of snow and ice, we were going to be seeing temperatures in the 40s that would have effectively melted at least 6 inches of snow and ice. From personal experience, I know that rapidly melting precipitation can saturate the ground and may cause water to come through tiny little cracks in your basement.

I once had a landlord who, while showing us the house, said that the basement was dry and a livable space. 

Sidebar: I want to take this moment to say that other than this one story, he was a great landlord. I saw him like five times ever. The whole arrangement was pretty laissez-faire, which I think we both appreciated. I just want to be clear; he was an otherwise good landlord.

So, he tells us it’s a livable space, and it does have ceiling tiles, so we take it because we need the space. We get some cheap carpet and put in a family room and a bar down there and everything is fine for like a year and a half.  Then we get that bad snowstorm in 2015, and mounds of snow sit there and chill for a while. Next thing you know, it’s unseasonably warm, and everything starts melting, and it has nowhere to go but down.

As it takes a day or two for the effect to really set in, you can imagine how shocked we were to find much of our basement under water. There’s just a steady stream flowing in from a crack in the wall, but it’s also coming up through the floor. We have absolutely no idea what to do; so, we call the landlord who is just kind of like, “I don’t really know what to do.”

We’re like “…sump pump?”

And he’s like, “Nah.”

He doesn’t try to seal the floors or walls. He does, however, bring over a shop vac and a carpet shampooer. So, we do the needful, and we put all of our furniture up on 2x4s, try to get as much water out as we can (when it finally stops flowing in, it starts to retreat back into the floor), and shampoo the carpet. In retrospect, that seems kind of silly because I don’t think the solution to drying a carpet is to make it wet. Maybe that’s just me.

So, even though nothing like that had happened in a year in a half, we’re thinking that maybe that was just a freak incident because of the amount of the snow and how fast it melted.


When the spring rains come, it happens again. And we’re furious, and he’s tired of us bothering him, and we’re tired of bothering him, so we float the idea of the sump pump again. The answer is also no. He drops off the shampooer and a brand-new humidifier.

Finally, we stop calling him and, not to be deterred, we find ingenious ways to work around basement flooding and still keep our rooms down there. We build an entertainment center on the wall, we find wheels for our snake’s (Chompy) very heavy tank and stand, roll up the carpet, and move the couches and tables to the high point of the room. This continues for 4 years.

All of this is to say that it is wise to invest in sump pumps, especially if you are a landlord. I think our landlord’s issue was that he felt like it would be costly (though he put a new roof on the house, replaced the furnace, and had the house professionally repainted, but it’s fine). 

You can find details about sump pumps on Platinum Plumbing’s page, but they will be able to tell you the best ways to invest. Not all sump pumps will break the bank. Plus, the cool thing about Platinum Plumbing is that they don’t just install sump pumps, they can also repair or replace them. So, you may not think about a potential basement flood in the middle of winter, but I can tell you (in fact I just did) that it happens. It may not be the worst idea in the world to have yours checked before we get a big storm. You know. Just in case your sump pump is jammed.

Also, keep in mind that it’s pipe bursting season. A frozen pipe can cause water issues as well. It will be really convenient to be able to pump out all that water instead of trying to suck it out in shop vacs and waiting until it eventually seeps back into the floor, which can take days and a lot of wet basement smell. A sump pump is a smart choice.

Call them up.

 And, for no reason at all, just to remind us of the times: 

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