And Now for Something Completely Different
Because of the title, I wanted to rework a Monty Python skit to fit this month’s theme. Unfortunately, the jokes are no longer suitable for social media (wink wink, nudge nudge). So, if you fancy a post that doesn’t deal with plumbing at all and has presently obscure jokes scattered about, I suppose I’ll get on with it then.
(Yes, get on with it)
A Little Spring Cleaning
If you’re anything like me (and I assume you are), you’re emerging from the dark and snowy February. My motivation, overall morale, and even hygiene (ssh) is down. But as we emerge into the heatwave of barely above freezing, we will soon see longer days, the emergence of spring, and the revitalization of life (squawk!). Now that we’ve established that you’re just like me, then you know that your house is absolutely filthy. Just filthy. For shame.
Okay, not really. If you are really anything like me, then your house could just use a good deep clean, or in other words, a spring clean. I’ve kept my house picked up, and the surfaces dusted or wiped down, the floors swept, and the toilets, sinks, and bathtubs adequately scrubbed, but now that the sun is coming out, and the dirt in the crevices is showing, it’s time to take care of business. I’m here to offer some tips that might make this job a little easier or smoother.
First, the hose extension on your vacuum cleaner (hopefully with a little brush on the end) is your absolute best friend. It cleans everything: windowsills, door frames, cabinets, drawers, under furniture, behind furniture, corners, ceilings, fans, light fixtures, couches, chairs, mattresses (some of these things might need an additional wipe down, but the hose does most of the work). Best of all, it’s fantastic at cleaning up all of the bird poop, or the bits leftover after the birds eat the poop.
Maybe that’s just my house. (I, too, take strong exception to cheap jokes about poo-poos.)
I literally used to wash down my walls, and that was dumb. If my walls get dirty enough that I need to scrub them, then it’s probably time for me to redecorate anyway, at which time I will paint the walls.
Painting the walls is a great segue to my next topic, which is tips for redecoration. Unfortunately, I still have more to talk about regarding spring cleaning.
Anywho, speaking of birds (and poo-poos), I’m very conscious about the cleaning products that I use. Though, if I did, I would say something like, “They are not pining, they passed on! These parakeets are no more! They have ceased to be! They’ve expired and gone to meet their maker! These are late parakeets! They’re stiffs! Bereft of life, they rest in peace! They’ve rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. These are ex-parakeets!”
(Moving on) I try to use vinegar in any place that I can. It’s great for getting rust, calcium, and lime off corroded, exposed pipes (we have the cutest little sink in our Gaudy Bathroom, but it’s so hard to keep the copper shiny). If vinegar doesn’t work, CLR is the next best thing, but not nearly as pet friendly. And if your pipes are too nasty, call up Platinum Plumbing to replace them. (wink wink, nudge nudge)
For toilet areas (especially in homes with one or more male humans), one fantastic natural cleaning solution is lemon juice, vinegar, and water. Not only does it clean, but it leaves a refreshing smell.
Other spring-cleaning projects are a little more intense, like cleaning out the garage or attic or basement. Those are grand ideas, but oftentimes, the ideas don’t come to fruition–well, except in my case when I tell my SO it’s time to clean the house, so he goes to the garage and cleans it out for the 4,758,135th time–, but, for normal people, these can be daunting tasks. I would advise to pick one major project to do a month. You can work on it a little at a time, and it makes the process seem far less overwhelming.
Another intimidating task is cleaning out closets and purging clothes. My method of doing this is to go as long as I possibly can without doing laundry. Whatever is left over that I won’t even wear in the direst of situations can either be donated or given away. Every few years, I also make my son go through his sock and underwear drawers and throw away anything that is too small. I recommend doing that more than every few years…
Decorating Tips for Real
I offered a few decorating tips on the Platinum Plumbing website. I maintain that the aqua color is really in, and the gold hardware looks fantastic with it. We’ve finally escaped the earth tone fad, so we can now get some vibrant colors and life back into our homes. Jewel tones are huge right now (these are your teals, aquas, rubies, sapphire blues, and oranges).
These are most often used in the Mid-Century Modern décor that is all the rage right now. If you want to support your local businesses, both Neighborhood Thrift and the Bronze Giraffe often have MCM furniture and décor, but it goes fast. You may have to stalk them on Facebook or set out on a quest for the Holy Sale. Just make sure you find out the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.
For reference, this is the way I’ve decorated my Parlor.
Now that I’ve sold you on Mid-Century Modern, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Art Deco is sneaking in and will likely be the next big style. Luckily, MCM came on the heels of Art Deco, so blending them is okay. They have lots of similarities.
Art Deco is what was big during the 1920s and 1930s (because we now have to get used to specifying which century we’re talking about). Think Great Gatsby and flapper dresses, feathers, and geometric symmetry. Many of the jewel tones can still be used (because PEACOCKS!), but there is also the black, gold, and white theme that is very elegant. I don’t have any examples because my library isn’t finished yet, and the best images I found online are subject to copyright (whatever, that’s fine. Their mothers were hamsters and their fathers smelt of elderberries anyway). Just look it up on the interwebs. You’ll love it.
So now that I’ve summed it all up, let’s review your tasks. First, you will engage in deep cleaning and sorting. Second, you will visit a few sites to consider ideas for new décor (and support your local businesses!). You will only need to look at a couple online because after that, ads for anything slightly similar will show up on every single site you go to. Once these two tasks are complete, and only when they are complete, you will go down a rabbit (it’s no ordinary rabbit) hole of Monty Python videos to see if you can find all of the references in this post. Even if you can’t, it will be a jolly good time.
As always, make sure to call Platinum Plumbing for all of your plumbing needs.